it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
