did you get engaged???
Porn is love you can see.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
