I wanna bring you to show and tell
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
