She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Iād clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ārang in the New Yearā with some rando in there last night
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