I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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