Jerry, you need to find god
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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