she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
