We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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