im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
