whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
