you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
