Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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