I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
