i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
