Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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