stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
