Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
