Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
