I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
