my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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