Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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