My Higher Power is John Stamos
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
