just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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