So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
