All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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