you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I want to fling myself into the sun
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
