btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
