does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
