Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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