We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
