Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
