Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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