I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
