i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
