To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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