respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
