I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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