My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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