I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
