dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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