..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just come out here and I will go home with you...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
