So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
