question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
