too bad you live with your parents still
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
