and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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