just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
