i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
