Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
