Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You took a bar mat shot.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
