I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
