Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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