Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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