I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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